Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Is it just me?

I can't really say I'm becoming a grumpy old man as I think its a pretty innate characteristic but I certainly feel that its something I'm working on well. (Note to self - add to hobbies/interests on my CV?)

Grumpiness is not something you strive for but rather is thrust upon you. I find myself becoming more exasperated by everyday things that perhaps shouldn't matter but just seem to define human nature so much more so than in the past.

People that stop walking in the street for no reason, bump into you and you are the one that apologise.

People who work on tills that can't grasp the concept that you might not want shrapnel in your change which is why you've gone to the bother of giving them the £10.23 for a bill that comes to £5.23. "But I've already put it in" is their normal refrain.

Use an umberella by all means but occasionally take a look to see the person coming towards you. Are you on the golf course? No - then get something smaller than the Millennium Dome to put over your head.

Walking 2 or 3 abreast on the pavement.
Excuse me for a moment whilst I turn purple.
"I'll move onto the road into the way of oncoming traffic then shall I?"

Geri Halliwell - need I say more?

Those at security checks at airports that despite having watched people in the queue for 10 minutes are surprised to learn that they need to take their laptops out of their bags. And take off their belt. Oh, and their shoes. Are you wearing a watch? Yes, that as well.

The flight leaves at 10:30. That means you should be on the plane so we can go. It does not mean you can arrive onboard at 10:40 unless you apologise to everyone individually and are very contrite.

24 hour rolling news - its like the tellietubbies. Again, again.
Just once I'd like the presenters to sit there and whistle, shrug their shoulders, look around aimlessly, be honest and say 'there is no news at the moment, sorry - we can't make it happen you know?'

There I feel better now.
I've got to go now as I'm off with 3 friends down the road to catch a flight to a laptop convention. Oh dear, its just started raining - best take the umbrella.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

How old???

I was always slightly concerned whenever I heard rumours that the retirement age was to be increased.
60 always sounded quite inviting but without a messy medical procedures this wasn't an option so 65 was always the goal. The thought of sitting on the sofa eating biscuits was always quite appealing and at the very least I'd surely improve on my personal best of a six at Countdown.

I'm 40 now and whilst the thought of working for another 25 years was unpalitable I comforted myself with the thought that I was a good way through and should at the very least begin to stockpile biscuits and invest in a pair of comfy slippers.

70 though and it's a whole new ballgame where the goalposts have definately been moved - not just to a new pitch but possibly behind the changing rooms, right at the lights and a bus ride away.
As it is now I often walk into rooms only to have no understanding of why I've done so so to now be told I have to hold down a job until the early stages of Altzheimers are likely to have a good toe-hold does seem rather unlikely.

I would though rather like to see an office full of brown cardigans wandering around aimlessly with pieces of paper trying to figure out the new photocopier works. I just can't imagine Madonna reaching 68 and still wearing a headset.

Unfortunately I might never get to see this scenario as I lost my job the other week.
That is a truly mysterious expression. "Well, I just can't remember. I had it the other day but now? I don't know - I'm sure it'll turn up just like the cat insurance details did."

Bugger if it isn't a bit of a concern.
Mr. Mikawber said 'that something will turn up' but either the post office has shut down or BT have disconnected me.

I embrace change like Steve McLaren but decided to join up with every recruitment company known to man. This I think was a mistake.

I religiously registered online attaching CV's like they were going out of fashion. I chose passwords, I even know my mobile number now without having to look it up and cruicially, in my opinion, let them know what position I was after and in what location.

The results were amazing and I was getting e-mails left, right and centre. Quite why they were telling me about jobs in construction and the pharmaceutical sales was more of a puzzle. I was seeking a job in marketing only for it to transpire that this was no longer an industry that had any vacancies.
I'm also based in Worcester which I appreciate is the backend of nowhere but did any recruiters get O level geography? "I've got a job in London thats right up your street. By the time you get home it'll be time to get up again but that shouldn't be a concern would it?"

I was in all honesty tiring of the job I until recently held down.
Nine Secret Santa's is perhaps a few too many to be involved in over the years but there was always the Bodyshop gift box to pass on to an undeserving Aunt and it was warm and there was free coffee.

I've never been one to bound out of bed in the morning excited by the possibilities of what the day might bring. Never more so that now that I power up my computer in the morning to find an exciting position in forestry has opened up in Aberdeen.

Times are changing - life used to begin at 40. How ironic is that?
Now where did I leave my atlas and axe?